It was about 4 years ago.... waking up late to a ringing phone. The person who was the closest to me at that time had decided to take their own life. Jody Jensen. One of the strongest people I knew. Suddenly and sadly left this world. Last night, like so many other nights I lay in bed awake thinking of him and where he is now. How he is now. Whatever he is now. I convince myself that he has somehow become perfect. Dying young, staying pretty. Always perfect. He had issues, we had issues, I had issues. I get so dark minded I wonder did he have it right? Is this world really so awful and worthless, gutted and being destroyed, cold and without any real justice... do I even want to be here? I honestly don't know. And I keep on... living life for someone like him who had no choice. I write my songs, I say farewell and move along. I try to make my peace, and carry on. Live the life he can't live. Do anything but picture my friend on his knees with a noose round his neck and sad and feeling horrible and giving up. That feeling, when people ask you why you never called... I am too sad, too sad to use my phone, too sad to care.