to live is to lose...

I've been shackled to this avoidance and dissociation nonsense my whole life, and I don't make much fuss about it. I can easily just avoid the whole entire thing...

But there's this darkness, this ugly dementor that won't quit and I can write about it until the end times come. It's that feeling, you know? No matter how damn hard you try, you're just playing a rigged game. It ain't self-hatred, it's life. Life is a mean motherfucker sometimes. You watch these folks, barely lift a finger, and luck's their best pal, or some savior rides in to bail them out.

Then there's us, the ones starting from the gutter, clawing and climbing, muscles busting. But that damn summit, it's like chasing a ghost in the night. We see those folks up high, grinning down at us like they got the universe in their pocket, even those who swore they'd throw us a rope, well, they're ghosting us when the going gets rough.

It ain't no mental crisis, it's life's raw deal. We ain't whining, we're fighters, and we make do with what we got. But, there's days when it all falls apart because no matter how hard you sweat to get it right, life has got a twisted sense of humor, and it'll laugh in your face and love it.